Our refuge was previously known as Nene Valley Christian Family Refuge. The refuge has helped Over 2,000 women transform their lives after escaping domestic abuse
A refuge is a safe house where women and children who are experiencing domestic violence can stay free from abuse. Refuge addresses (and sometimes telephone numbers) are confidential. There are over 500 refuge and support services in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. You can choose (subject to space and availability) whether you travel a long way away from your home town, or remain in the same area. However, refuges are highly unlikely to accept women from their immediate local area as this is usually where they are most at risk. Any refuge accepting a woman would have to be a ‘safe’ distance away from any areas where her abuser has connections.
Some refuges have space for many women and children, and some are small houses. Some refuges are specifically for women from particular ethnic or cultural backgrounds (for example, Black, Asian or South American women). Many refuges have disabled access and staff and volunteers who can assist women and children who have special needs.
If you have children, you can take them with you. There are some refuges that have self-contained family units but most refuges will usually give you your own room for yourself to share with your children. Other spaces (the living room, TV room, kitchen, playroom and possibly the bathroom) will be shared with other refuge residents. You will be expected to cook for yourself and your children. It is up to you and the other refuge residents whether or not you share cooking or eat together at mealtimes. You can be as self-contained or as sociable as you want to be.
Refuges have their own codes of conduct regarding the day-to-day running of the house. These usually cover things like bedtimes for children, incoming telephone calls and rotas for using the washing machine.
Any woman who needs to escape from domestic violence or abuse can go into a refuge at any time. It does not matter whether or not you are married to or living with your abuser, or whether or not you have children.
You can call the Freephone National 24-hour Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247, which is run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge, and which will find a refuge space for you if you want this. Many refuge organisations have public contact numbers, and if you want you can contact these yourself (look in the telephone book for your local domestic violence service). You can also contact refuge organisations through the Police, the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 (UK) or 1850 60 90 90 (ROI), social services or the Citizens Advice Bureau. You can contact Eve on 01604 230311.
You should be able to go into a refuge on the day that you call. You can’t usually book accommodation in advance, nor will you always be able to find refuge space in the location of your choice.
If you decide you would like the Helpline to arrange refuge space for you, you will be asked for your name (you only have to give your first name if you prefer) and the ages of any children who are with you. You will need to give a telephone number on which you can be called back when accommodation has been found for you. This can be a telephone box, as long as it takes incoming calls, or a mobile phone, or it could be at a friend’s house, a health centre or any other safe place where you are able wait for any return calls.
When refuge accommodation has been found for you, a member of staff or a volunteer from the organisation will discuss with you how you can get there. They may arrange to meet you at their office or somewhere else which is easy to find. If they do give you the address and the location of the refuge, it is important that you keep this information to yourself, and that you take care not to leave any of this information behind (so that you don’t let other people know your location, or the address or telephone number of the refuge).
As a guide, try to take the following with you to the refuge:
Not all women will need all of these items, and there may be some items that you would need to take that have not been included in this list, but this is a general guide. You may not be able to get any of these items if you leave in an emergency situation.
Most refuges do not have a large amount of storage space, so you are unlikely to be able to take large items such as furniture with you to the refuge. Also, refuges cannot generally take house pets. Some refuges are equipped to accommodate small animals such as fish, mice and other caged pets. Additionally, some refuge organisations have arrangements with local pet fostering schemes. Ask the staff for more information or see our useful links on pet fostering.
You will usually be able to stay as long as you need to – from a couple of days to several months – though some refuges have a maximum length of stay. Many women stay in refuges for a break from the violence, a breathing space with time to think away from danger. Some women decide to return to their partners.
However long you decide to stay, you can be as sociable or as quiet as you want to. Should you want it, there is support and advice available, but no one at the refuge will make you do anything you don’t want to do.
Yes, in most cases. If you choose to leave the refuge but later need safe accommodation again, you and your children will be able to go back, either into the same or another refuge, depending on space and availability at the time you need it.
If you were asked to leave a refuge because you broke the terms of the license agreement, it may not be possible for you to return to the same house. You may be referred to refuge accommodation elsewhere, or another safe place will be found for you.
You can also use the refuge organisation for information, friendship and support when you are no longer a resident. Some organisations have outreach services, floating support or drop-in services that women and children who have left or have never gone into the refuge can use for support and contact.
You can return home from the refuge at any point. You may decide to return with an injunction. You may decide you want to be re-housed elsewhere. The choice is yours, and refuge workers will give you information about the various options in order to help you to decide what you want to do. They will also help you to get advice regarding joint property and mortgage agreements. Do not agree to sign any documents relating to the tenancy or ownership of your home until you have taken legal advice.
