eve refuge

You need to know that the refuge you choose needs to be a safe distance away from the place you experienced abuse. With over 500 refuge services across the UK, you may choose to travel far away from home or stay at the closest safe distance.

Some refuges have self-contained family units but, in most refuges, you will have one room which if you have children you will share with them.

There will be shared spaces with other residents where you can prepare meals, watch TV and children can play but there’s no pressure to spend time with other residents if you don’t feel comfortable.

Refuges are supportive and caring places, with friendly teams dedicated to your safety and wellbeing.

There will be a code of conduct in place so that residents know what’s expected of them and to help everyone live together as harmoniously as possible.

This usually includes bedtimes for children, rotas for using the washing machine and generally being respectful of each other.

Usually, you can stay as long as you need to, but refuge is not a permanent housing solution. The experienced and specially trained teams at refuge can support you to plan how you move on from refuge.

Some residents go to a refuge so they can have time and space away from the abuse they’ve experienced, to work out their next steps.

Some women return to their partners and others make a fresh start. Nobody at refuge will judge your situation or tell you what to do, and you will not be forced to accept the support on offer.

This depends on why you left. If you’ve decided to leave but find yourself needing a safe space again, you can return if space is available. If you’ve been asked to leave for breaking the terms of your license agreement, you may not be able to return to the same refuge, but you could seek refuge elsewhere.

Even once you’ve left a refuge, you can still visit eve for support and friendship. Often there will be drop-in sessions and outreach programmes to make sure that you don’t feel alone when you move on.

Most refuges have limited space, so you won’t be able to take large items such as furniture. It’s also unlikely you’ll be able to take pets, but many refuges will have pet fostering schemes where someone can look after your pet until you move on.

Find out more about pet fostering Lifeline | Cats Protection

As a guide, try to take the following with you to the refuge:

• Photo identification
• Birth certificates for you and your children
• School and medical records, including the telephone numbers of the school and your GP or surgery
• Money, bankbooks, cheque book and credit and debit cards
• Keys for your house, car, and workplace
• Driving licence and car registration documents, if you have them
• Prescribed medication.
• Cards or payment books for Child Benefit and any other welfare benefits you’re entitled to
• Passports (including passports for all your children if you have them), visas and work permits
• Copies of documents relating to your housing, (for example, mortgage details or lease and rental agreements).
• Any unpaid bills
• Insurance documents
• Address book
• Family photographs, your diary, jewellery, small items of sentimental value
• Clothing and toiletries for you and your children
• Your children’s favourite small toys.

This is a general guide, not all women have or need everything on the list. We understand that you may leave in an emergency and be unable to prepare. The team at the refuge can help with any essential items you haven’t been able to bring.

Housing rights are complex, and the refuge team can help you get the advice you need.

You may decide to return home, with or without an injunction to keep your abuser away. It may be possible in some circumstances to apply for social housing.

Don’t sign any paperwork relating to your home until you’ve had legal advice, it’s important that you know your rights and future housing options.