Healthy Relationships

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What are the signs of a healthy relationship?

Valentine’s Day is intended to celebrate those we love, particularly our romantic partners. Bringing with it a tidal wave of kisses, chocolate and happy times with our other halves. But for many, February the 14th can bring a sense of anxiety, fear and depression.

It’s important to note every relationship is different and the traditional definition of a ‘healthy relationship’ has evolved. However, some partnerships can fall into unhealthy or even abusive traits, and it’s essential to spot these signs before they become serious issues.

What makes a healthy relationship?

An individual’s needs will differ from person to person; someone who requires more affection might be living with someone who prefers to talk about their emotions. The secret is to understand your partner’s emotional and physical wants, creating an equal relationship across lots of key areas which we’ve noted below.

Clear Communication

Couples who talk openly can get through most things – highs, lows, financial issues, health concerns, emotions, mental health and even those silly little thoughts. Healthy relationships will listen to one another’s feelings and respect their opinions with zero judgement.

Communication red flags

  • Unable to talk about your feelings with your partner or others
  • Your comments are ignored, twisted, dismissed or mocked
  • Your partner says hurtful things to you

Open and honest

Honesty goes hand in hand with trust. Couples who keep secrets, consistently lie and allow their partner to worry will always doubt each other’s intentions. Trust enables you to feel safe within a relationship, both emotionally and physically and shows respect for the relationship whether you’re together or not.

Honesty red flags

  • Consistently being questioned about where you are
  • Going through each other’s phone
  • You’ve caught them purposely and continuously lying

Supporting your independence

Taking time apart to pursue your own interests and socialise with others brings balance to a relationship. It reinforces trust in one another and maintains your sense of individuality. Partners should encourage one another to follow their dreams, start a hobby and keep healthy connections with friends, family or work colleagues. Not only does this develop you personally, but it also develops your relationship too.

Independence red flags

  • You’re made to feel guilty for spending time with others
  • Feeling isolated from your family or friends
  • Your partner dismisses your hobbies and interests

Respectful Intimacy

Intimacy does not just mean sex. This can relate to communication, feeling safe with your partner and comfortable expressing your desires. Healthy intimacy should build self-esteem rather than tear you down. Most importantly, it’s knowing that your partner understands what intimacy means to you and that ‘no’ means ‘no’.

Intimacy red flags

  • You’re unable to talk about intimacy, feelings or desires
  • You feel nervous or scared at the thought of being intimate
  • Being forced or guilted into performing any sexual act

You have lots of fun!

More than anything, relationships should be filled with laughter, inside jokes and a desire to spend time together. Couples who engage with each other’s interests can create stronger connections; by creating activities you can share. It’s important you simply enjoy their company. Being in their presence and making each other laugh can relieve tension as well as help you get through tougher times.

Enjoyment Red flags

  • Feeling depressed or lonely in their presence
  • Not wanting or being scared to spend time together
  • No fun, laughter or enjoyment

Contact Eve

If you’ve spotted any of these red flags in your relationship, please get in touch. Here at Eve, we have a team of fully trained individuals whom you can contact 24/7 for domestic abuse-related matters. We provide supportive solutions and safe refuge for female victims and children affected by domestic abuse.

Contact times and support available for domestic abuse-related matters:

  • 9am -5pm – Helpline: General enquiries, information, advice and guidance
  • 5pm – 9am – Out of Hours Emergency Support
  • 9am – 10pm – Silent Solutions, text or email

What is Domestic Abuse?

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Women’s Aid defines domestic abuse as an incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening and violent behaviour. Anyone can be a victim; it does not always refer to a physical attack. That’s why it’s important to recognise the signs of domestic violence; know how to remove yourself from unsafe situations and understand where to source help.

More than this, we need to work as a society to put a stop to domestic abuse. By raising awareness of what domestic abuse refers to, we can help change the mindset and behaviour of perpetrators, as well as support women and girls in danger. We hope this article goes some way to share a further understanding of domestic abuse.

Who is affected by domestic abuse?

Anyone can be a victim, or even a perpetrator, of domestic abuse. Regardless of age, race, gender, sexuality, faith or class, violence can occur between partners, ex-partners, family members, parents and children, as well as people in positions of authority.

Along with whoever is being abused, it can also have a lasting effect on anyone within the same household. Individuals who witness violent actions and behaviour but cannot do anything to help, such as children.

How do I know if I’m in a violent relationship?

Domestic violence isn’t limited to physical marks or scars you can see. It can develop over several years and consist of a multitude of manipulative behaviour. Behaviour that slowly changes their victims’ independence and controls everything about them. However, signs and symptoms are always associated with every type of domestic abuse and things to consider are:

  • Do you feel scared of your partner?
  • Are your partner’s moods or actions unpredictable?
  • Have you noticed a shift in the relationship?

Our previous blog provides more information about healthy relationships and the signs to look out for.

What are the types of domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse can appear in numerous forms, with survivors sometimes experiencing one or several types within their relationship. The different types of domestic abuse include:

Physical abuse – This often leaves visual signs upon someone’s body such as bruises and marks inflicted by slaps, punches, kicks, biting, pushing, burn marks or things being thrown.

Emotional abuse – This includes derogative language, threats and manipulative behaviour, which leads to isolation, self-doubt, low self-esteem and guilt for the person being abused.

Sexual abuse – When you are forced or guilted into performing a sexual act you do not want to do. Being touched in a way you don’t want to be touched or forced to have unsafe sex.

Financial abuse – Survivors may lose control over their money as well as access to it. Meaning they have no financial independence or essential funds to help them leave the relationship.   

Finding support for domestic violence

If you are or believe you are, in an abusive relationship, you can reach out for help at any time. Contact a domestic abuse charity, emergency services, or even trusted friends and family. Never wait until it becomes an emergency situation. Similarly, if you feel someone you know is in danger, you can contact a domestic abuse helpline for guidance on what to do.

Contact Eve

Here at Eve, we have a team of fully trained individuals whom you can contact 24/7 for domestic abuse-related matters. We provide supportive solutions and safe refuge for female victims and children affected by domestic abuse.

Contact times and support available for domestic abuse-related matters:

  • 9am -5pm – Helpline: General enquiries, information, advice and guidance
  • 5pm – 9am – Out of Hours Emergency Support
  • 9am – 10pm – Silent Solutions, text or email

How is International Women’s Day helping to eliminate violence against women and girls?

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Throughout history, women have questioned the status quo; highlighting injustice and protecting the rights of others. Their tenacious attitude was at risk to their own safety but resulted in major movements within social, economic, cultural and political matters to bring equality to all genders.

However, despite the huge steps forward, one in 3 women worldwide still experiences violence in their lifetime – emotional, verbal or physical. Often, at the hands of someone they know, whom they believe loves them. We hope this year’s IWD highlights these staggering statistics, as well as our ongoing journey to defend women and girls’ basic rights – to be heard and to be safe.   

What is International Women’s Day (IWD)?

On the 8th of March, we globally unite to celebrate International Women’s Day, recognising the progress and achievements of women. From the single mum to the CEO activist, we share the efforts being made to create a better and equal world for all. Although different sources vary on when the first official ‘Women’s Day’ took place, the important part is that it did! Since the early 1900s, resilient Suffragettes took to the streets to support women’s rights for equal pay, voting and safety for women and girls. Fights which, albeit have progressed, still

have further to go. Days such as IWD and campaigns including the #metoo movement keep the spotlight on these topics, championing women’s rights worldwide.

Embracing equity and equality in 2023

Every year, IWD has a dedicated theme, focusing on a particular issue, priority or agenda. The chosen campaign theme for this year’s International Women’s Day is ‘Embrace Equity’. With the aim to create an inclusive world where everyone feels respected and valued.

No matter how big your world may be, from a local village community to a million social media followers, it’s about taking those small moments of change and activism to challenge discrimination. Domestic abuse cases are often hidden away but through the efforts of IWD and supporting charities, we can collectively increase awareness of ending violence against women and girls with a wider audience.

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How is EVE acknowledging IWD?

This International Women’s Day, EVE are embracing equity; using our platforms, helplines and refuges to reassure women and girls they’re not alone. We provide safe locations with trusted team members who can support survivors whether they’re in an abusive relationship, trying to leave or have already left.

For survivors, with or without children, we offer The Restored Programme: a rehabilitation programme which creates a secure environment to build a sense of belonging. Along with The Evolve Programme which works with perpetrators of domestic abuse to look at their reasoning and understanding behind why they use violent behaviour towards others.

We’ll also be attending this year’s International Women’s Day event, taking place at the Guildhall, Northampton, on Saturday 4th March, to highlight our ongoing work within the community.

Beyond the 8th of March

International Women’s Day is more than just a 24-hour celebration. It’s an opportunity to catapult change; identifying the threats women face daily such as catcalling, verbal abuse, physical harm or sexual harassment, and creating a safer world for women and girls. Empowering them to take control of their own lives as well as being able to identify and leave toxic relationships.

To continue the message of IWD, we need allies. Big or small actions that share the message of equity can make a huge difference and these can include:

  • Following Eve’s social media
  • Liking and sharing posts
  • Reporting abusive or discriminative behaviour
  • Identifying controlling, coercive and abusive behaviour
  • Volunteering with a female-focused charity
  • Fundraising for a female-focused charity

Contact EVE

Here at Eve, we have a team of fully trained individuals whom you can contact 24/7 for domestic abuse-related matters. We provide supportive solutions and safe refuge for female victims and children affected by domestic abuse.

Contact times and support available for domestic abuse-related matters:

  • 9am -5pm – Helpline: General enquiries, information, advice and guidance
  • 5pm – 9am – Out of Hours Emergency Support
  • 9am – 10pm – Silent Solutions: text us on 07827 239 496 or email us at eve2eve@eve.org.uk  

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